Tags

, ,

Image Credit: SUCCESS MAGAZINE

Image Credit: SUCCESS MAGAZINE

Wow! Did I really just tell you to be selfish? Yes, I did, and here’s why.

I read a great article by Darren Hardy, the Publisher of SUCCESS Magazine, called Be More Selfish.  His advice is spot on.

How do I know?  For the longest time, I broke one of his 5 Rules to Being Selfish and I paid a price.

It was Rule #4.  Stop Playing God.

When Little Miss was born I became a full-time stay-at-home mother.  My world revolved around her.  I had no identity that wasn’t linked to her.  She controlled all my activities, thoughts, and feelings.  Suddenly, I wasn’t Kelli anymore.  I was Little Miss’s mom.

For about 18 months or so, I stopped being an independent person.  I sacrificed myself on the altar of motherhood, and I paid the ultimate price.  I lost myself.  I became depressed, angry, and resentful.

What snapped me out of it?  Being selfish.  Putting my needs ahead of my daughter’s needs.  Realizing that it’s OK to have lunch with a friend sans toddler, that I could take the time to get my hair cut and (dare I say) highlighted, that I could read a book that had more than one-syllable words in it.

I realized that if I wasn’t happy, how could I show her real happiness?  I couldn’t.  I wanted to stay home with my daughter to teach her and raise her myself.  What would she learn from a sad, angry mommy?

To operate at high-performance levels, you have to prepare and protect yourself from all that doesn’t support your most important goals, objectives and vision.

That’s when I started to explore getting back into law and starting my own firm.  I found the right childcare situation.  I joined a yoga class.  I took up meditation.  I thought about my needs.

It took me a long time to find out who I am now.  I certainly wasn’t the woman with the busy career from before Little Miss, but I wasn’t just a mother either.

I am truly happy now.  My smile is genuine.  My time with my family is sacred.  I know who I am and who I want to be.  I owe all of this to being selfish.

So Ladies, it’s time to start putting yourself first.  You’ll thank me later.