Wow! Did I really just tell you to be selfish? Yes, I did, and here’s why.
I read a great article by Darren Hardy, the Publisher of SUCCESS Magazine, called Be More Selfish. His advice is spot on.
How do I know? For the longest time, I broke one of his 5 Rules to Being Selfish and I paid a price.
It was Rule #4. Stop Playing God.
When Little Miss was born I became a full-time stay-at-home mother. My world revolved around her. I had no identity that wasn’t linked to her. She controlled all my activities, thoughts, and feelings. Suddenly, I wasn’t Kelli anymore. I was Little Miss’s mom.
For about 18 months or so, I stopped being an independent person. I sacrificed myself on the altar of motherhood, and I paid the ultimate price. I lost myself. I became depressed, angry, and resentful.
What snapped me out of it? Being selfish. Putting my needs ahead of my daughter’s needs. Realizing that it’s OK to have lunch with a friend sans toddler, that I could take the time to get my hair cut and (dare I say) highlighted, that I could read a book that had more than one-syllable words in it.
I realized that if I wasn’t happy, how could I show her real happiness? I couldn’t. I wanted to stay home with my daughter to teach her and raise her myself. What would she learn from a sad, angry mommy?
To operate at high-performance levels, you have to prepare and protect yourself from all that doesn’t support your most important goals, objectives and vision.
That’s when I started to explore getting back into law and starting my own firm. I found the right childcare situation. I joined a yoga class. I took up meditation. I thought about my needs.
It took me a long time to find out who I am now. I certainly wasn’t the woman with the busy career from before Little Miss, but I wasn’t just a mother either.
I am truly happy now. My smile is genuine. My time with my family is sacred. I know who I am and who I want to be. I owe all of this to being selfish.
So Ladies, it’s time to start putting yourself first. You’ll thank me later.